


On the Edge of Breaking

by CelticKitsune



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Date Rape, Discussion of Abortion, Eventual Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Abortion, Past Rape/Non-con, Sirius Black Lives, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-04-01 01:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13987401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticKitsune/pseuds/CelticKitsune
Summary: Friends since fourth year, Harry and Blaise's relationship has always been a little rocky, due to drastically different points of view. Now their relationship is stretched to the limit, when Harry discovers he is pregnant with another man's child.WARNING: Rape, unwanted pregnancy, talks of abortion.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will have rape elements, talks of rape, but nothing explicit. Talks of abortion, past rape, and unwanted pregnancy.

A huge thanks to my wonderful wife, Bicky Monster, for beta reading this for me. ^_^ I am not making any promises about keeping up with this one, but I needed a Harry/Blaise story to focus on when I wasn’t in the mood for Unbreakable, or one of my several other fics that I have in the works.   
That being said, I do know where I’m going with this fic, so hopefully it won’t take me three years to finish this. But we shall see. 

Chapter 1

Harry still couldn't believe it. Umbridge was gone, carried off into the woods by the centaurs. Even as the news spread through the school, Harry was alone in Snape’s office, still waiting to find out what was going to happen now. 

The other members of the DA, who had been caught as well, had been sent back to their common rooms, leaving Harry at the mercy of Snape. The potions master had not been impressed with Harry’s escape from Umbridge, or the fate that the toad-faced woman had been subjected to. As a result, Harry had been magically stuck to a chair, his wand removed from his person, to keep him from running off to the ministry to find his Godfather. 

Harry jerked himself bodily again, a futile attempt to free himself, after having been stuck for nearly an hour now. He was unable to move his arms or legs either, and Harry had no choice but to sit and wait for Snape to return, with no idea of when that might be. 

Harry felt helpless, sitting there, just waiting for something to happen. He had been set to storm off to the ministry and free his Godfather from Voldemort. However, Snape had come after them, stopped them, before Harry had even had the chance to argue about who could or could not come with him to the ministry. 

A sound from behind him had Harry turning his head in an attempt to glare at Snape, assuming the potions master would be the only one coming in there. 

“Let me out of here!” Harry yelled, jerking his body again. “You can’t keep me here! Thanks to you, Sirius is probably dead by now!”

“Now that hurts,” came the reply, and Harry stopped struggling, turning his head once more to try and look at the owner of that familiar voice.

“Blaise?” Harry asked. 

“Well, I’m definitely not Professor Snape, though if you’d rather, I can leave and you can continue waiting here for him,” Blaise said, and Harry heard the door close once again. 

“No! Blaise wait!” Harry jerked so violently that the chair tipped over backwards, with him still stuck to it. He blinked up at his boyfriend, who standing over him. 

“Did you really think I would just leave you here?” Blaise questioned. 

Harry continued to stare at Blaise, and was annoyed when he felt the stringing in his eyes as tears started forming there, though he held them back, refusing to cry in front of Blaise. “He left me here,” Harry said, his throat feeling tight. “He left, and Sirius…”

Blaise’s smirk faded and he knelt down next to Harry, gently lifting the chair back up. “I’m sure your Godfather is fine.”

“He’s not, you don’t understand, Voldemort had him, he was at the ministry, and Snape HATES him,” Harry said. “Please, Blaise, let me out of here.”

“I can’t do that,” Blaise said sadly. “Not until you listen to me.”

“I’m DONE listening, Blaise! I’ve waited all year for people to tell me something about what’s been going on, and, because I’ve taken things into my own hands, now is when people want me to sit and listen to them!” Harry snapped. “I need to make sure my Godfather is safe! You know how important he is to me.”

“I know, but you have to listen to me, Harry,” Blaise said firmly. “I’m still not convinced that this ‘vision’ you had was truly real, that’s why I came to get Snape to stop you from leaving.”

“You did what?” Harry demanded, his voice taking on an icy tone. 

Blaise sighed and shifted some things on the desk. “I did this for your own good, Harry.”

“Fuck you!” Harry yelled. 

“I don’t care if you hate me, Harry, but I am not letting you go. And I am not apologising for possibly saving your life!” Blaise snapped back. 

Harry continued glaring at Blaise, anger boiling inside him as he tried to think of something, anything to say. Images of Sirius being tortured kept coming to mind, his Godfather screaming in pain, and Voldemort’s high pitched laugh echoing through is his head. Angry tears started falling and Harry turned away from Blaise as best he could. 

The two of them continued sitting in silence for some time, Harry refused to talk, or even look at Blaise right now. He was convinced that because of the other boy’s interference, Sirius was now dead, and Harry hadn’t been allowed a chance to stop it. Though try as he might, Harry couldn’t muster up enough anger toward Blaise to truly hate him. 

“Why?” Harry finally asked, only sparing a glance toward Blaise. The tan boy was still sitting on Snape’s desk, poking at some of the papers waiting to be graded. 

“Why what, Harry? Why did I tell Snape? Why am I leaving you in here?” Blaise asked, looking at Harry. 

“Why did you tell Snape,” Harry clarified. 

“Because if I had tried to stop you, you or one of the others would have hexed me and gone to the Ministry anyway,” Blaise answered. 

“Sirius is in trouble,” Harry said, still convinced that his Godfather was at the ministry with Voldemort. 

Blaise sighed, setting the paper he had been looking at aside, turning his full attention toward Harry. “What makes you so convinced that he was really there?”

“I saw it! My scar hurt, and I saw him there!” Harry said. 

“How did he get there?” Blaise asked. 

“I don’t know! Voldemort probably took him there,” Harry replied, feeling his anger rising again. “I didn’t imagine this, Blaise, I know what I saw, and I know what it meant.”

“I’m still not sure what to think about this whole connection to You-Know-Who, but I do know one thing, the Dark Lord isn’t just about to go walking into the Ministry with Sirius Black,” Blaise pointed out. “And I’ve been thinking, if you can see things through this connection, what is stopping him from seeing things as well?” 

Harry bit his lip and looked away again. “I know it was real,” Harry insisted. 

“Would it be so bad if you were actually wrong for once?” Blaise asked in exasperation. 

“Why are you so insistent that I am?” Harry demanded. 

“Because it doesn’t make sense! There is no way that You-Know-Who would just wander into the ministry with a convicted killer! No matter how far Fudge has his head up his own arse; even he can’t overlook something like that!” Blaise snapped, his own temper rising. “Merlin, Harry, how stupid can you be about this?”

Harry fell silent, it felt as if something was squeezing painfully in his chest. Lowering his head, he hid the fresh tears that were forming. It wasn’t the first time that he and Blaise had argued; they had been friends since the beginning of the Tri-Wizard tournament in fourth year, and sometimes disagreed, but Harry had never thought Blaise would think him stupid. 

The silence stretched on too long, however Harry refused to look at Blaise. He was hurt, and angry, and though he refused to really acknowledge it, he was scared. Blaise let out a small sigh and Harry heard him move closer. 

“If I let you off the chair, are you going to make a run for it?” Blaise asked wearily.

“Go away,” Harry replied. 

“Harry…”

“GO AWAY!” Harry shouted, glaring up at Blaise. 

“Fine,” Blaise snapped, taking out his wand and waving it at the chair that Harry was sitting in, releasing him. “Go running off and get killed for all I care, though before you do, I should thank you for reminding me why I never liked Gryffindors. Selfish lot you are, never thinking about who you might hurt when you rush off into danger. If that’s something that ever changes, you know where to find me,” Blaise said.

Harry watched as the other teen left the room, slamming the door behind him. 

“I’m not selfish,” Harry said to the empty room, ignoring the cough that came from a nearby portrait. 

His scar had long since stopped hurting, there wasn’t even a slight burning anymore, and the only thing Harry could deduce from that was that Voldemort must have succeeded; Sirius was dead. The pain in his chest grew the more he thought about the possibility of not having Sirius anymore. Wiping at his eyes, clearing away the angry tears that were still forming there, Harry left Snape’s office, and made the long trek back up to Gryffindor tower. 

\--------------x

Harry wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep, though he was sure he couldn’t have been sleeping long, the headache, and heavy eyelids were testament to that. However, Ron was making it very difficult for him to continue sleeping, shaking his shoulder instantly. 

“Harry, mate, get up, you’ve gotta see this!” Ron said.

“Can’t it wait?” Harry grumbled, rolling over and turning his back toward Ron. 

“Harry.” Hermione’s voice reached his ears and Harry groaned. 

“I’m not going to classes today, Hermione,” Harry said. 

“Classes were cancelled, but this isn’t about that. Harry, you’ve got to read this! It’s about Sirius!” Hermione exclaimed, letting out a shout when Harry suddenly sat up in bed and stared at his two friends. 

“What?” Harry asked, suddenly wide awake. 

“Here, in this morning’s prophet,” Hermione said, handing it over quickly, while Ron handed Harry his glasses.

Harry took both things offered, shoving his glasses on his face and staring down at the front page of the prophet, his Godfather’s familiar face grinning back at him. 

“You-Know-Who returns! Sirius Black innocent!” were the big bold letters that Harry stared at. He let that news slowly sink into his tired brain before he continued reading. 

“It has long been believed that Sirius Black, former Auror, had finally shown his true colors and lived up to his family’s name, following You-Know-Who and becoming his most loyal follower. However, after a break in at the Ministry late last night (details on page five), it has been discovered that Sirius Black is not the murderer we believed him to be. After being cleared of all charges, the former convict was sent to Saint Mungo's for unknown treatment.”

Harry stopped reading, looking up at Ron and Hermione, waiting for one of them to tell him it was a mistake, that he was dreaming, that this paper couldn't possibly be real. However, the only thing he saw was a wide grin from Ron, and a tearful smile from Hermione. 

“He’s alive…” Harry tried not to sound hopeful, knowing the prophet had printed false stories before, but the pressure that had been sitting in his chest since the previous night seemed to lessen. 

“Course he’s alive, mate,” Ron said. “Why wouldn’t he-oof.” Ron was cut off by a sharp elbow from Hermione. 

“It’s because of your vision last night, isn’t it?” Hermione questioned. 

Harry nodded slowly. “It was so real… I was sure he was at the Ministry,” Harry said, looking back down at the newspaper. 

“He might have been,” Hermione said, pointing to the article again. “It says here that there was a break in at the Ministry last night. But that’s all we know, there aren’t any details about what people were doing there, just names.” 

“I have to talk to Dumbledore,” Harry said, handing the paper back to Hermione and hurrying to get out of bed. 

“Harry, Dumbledore isn’t back yet,” Hermione said, watching as Harry scurried around the room gathering up his clothes so he could get dressed. 

“Then McGonagall,” Harry insisted. 

“She’s still at Saint Mungo's,” Ron added. 

“Then who’s in charge of the school? It can’t be Umbridge, she was carried off last night,” Harry snapped.

“We don’t know,” Hermione admitted. “The only teachers we saw at the head table were Snape-”

“Snape’s back?” Harry sounded angry, and had to remind himself that Ron and Hermione didn’t know that the potions master had left Harry locked in his office. 

“Yeah,” Ron said. ”We didn't stick around long after the morning paper showed up though.”

Harry sighed, sitting down on Ron’s bed. “I suppose asking either of you what happens now would be pointless,”

“Uh, thanks?” Ron frowned, and Harry only then realise how horrible what he said really sounded.

“I didn't mean it like that!” Harry said quickly, “I only meant that with Sirius being innocent, and people now knowing Voldemort is back...” Harry trailed off, ignoring the flinch from Ron at hearing Voldemort’s name. “I want to know what this means, like where I might be going this summer.”

“We know, Harry,” Hermione reassured him. “And you’re right, neither Ron or I can answer that for you, we just have to wait an see. I’m sure that someone will tell you something sooner or later.”

Harry sighed. “It’s the later part I’m worried about, or have you not noticed that people don’t really like telling me anything this year.” 

“I’m sure there’s a good reason…” Hermione tried to say, but fell silent when Harry shot a glare at her. 

“Sorry,” Harry mumbled, standing again. “Look, I’ll meet you two downstairs in a minute.”

“Yeah, okay mate,” Ron said, putting a hand on Hermione’s arm, gently pulling her from the room, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts. 

Harry sighed and rubbed at his tired eyes before he started stripping off his pajamas; he was far too tired to be up for the day, but with the news in that mornings prophet, Harry knew there was no way he would be getting back to sleep. He wanted answers to the questions that had been piling up in his mind since he’d been woken up, and for Harry, that was more important than a few more hours of sleep. 

Fully dressed, Harry made his way down to the common room, where Ron and Hermione were waiting for him, and together the three of them headed down to the Great Hall. 

Harry wasn’t sure what to expect but he felt as if his whole world was balanced high off the ground, and that movement in any direction would send him toppling over. So it seemed a little surreal when they entered the Great Hall and everything was so normal. 

Most people were just eating their breakfast, and the only people who made eye contact with him were other members of the DA. Harry got the suspicious feeling that they were looking toward him for some kind of advice, or perhaps they wanted answers of their own about what exactly had happened last night. 

Harry, however, ignored them, his eyes trailing around the Great Hall, seeking out the only person he really wanted to see and talk to, Blaise Zabini. Though the tan boy was nowhere to be seen. Harry frowned, turning toward Ron and Hermione. 

“You haven’t seen Blaise this morning, have you?” he questioned. 

Ron looked up from his own breakfast and looked around the hall. “He’s not here,” he said, obviously just noticing this fact. 

“Yeah, that’s why I asked if either of you had seen him,” Harry said. 

“I don’t remember seeing him earlier, but we didn’t stay down here long enough to really notice who was and wasn’t here, Harry,” Hermione said apologetically. 

“It’s fine,” Harry said, turning his attention back toward his breakfast and nibbling on some toast. 

“You okay, mate?” Ron asked. 

“Yeah…” Harry sighed and put his toast down. “No, actually I don’t think I am,” he admitted. “I don’t like this.”

“Well… there’s more stuff to eat than just toast,” Ron said. “Ow! What was that for?” Ron glared over at Hermione, who had just smacked his arm. 

“He wasn’t talking about his breakfast, Ron,” she said with an exasperated huff. 

“Right, I knew that,” Ron said, turning his attention back toward Harry. “So, what is it you don’t like?”

“Waiting!” Harry said. “I don’t like this waiting! I feel like I should be doing something, talking to someone, finding out what happened last night with Sirius at the ministry.”

“So, what does Blaise missing from breakfast have to do with waiting?” Ron questioned in confusion. 

“Nothing,” Harry sighed, pushing his breakfast plate away.

“Sorry mate, you lost me again,” Ron admitted. 

Harry shook his head and stood up. “Never mind, just forget it.” He didn’t feel like going into detail about the argument he had had with Blaise the night before. “I need some fresh air, I’ll catch up to you guys later.”

“Harry,” Hermione said worriedly.

“I’m fine,” Harry said, turning abruptly and hurrying from the Great Hall, not even bothering to stop when he heard someone calling his name. 

\--------------x

Harry sat in a seat across from Dumbledore, staring intently. He was waiting to hear what the elderly wizard might have to say, or if the man was going to explain anything about what had been going on the whole past year. Harry wanted nothing more than to bombard the Headmaster with the questions he had spent all day thinking about, while he had sat in the owlery waiting for news. He wanted to demand answers that he felt were deserved. However, as upset and irritated as Harry was, he still had enough respect for Dumbledore to wait and hear what the man had to say. 

Dumbledore let out a long weary sigh, before he finally looked up and locked eyes with Harry. 

“My boy, I think I owe you an apology,” Dumbledore said, and Harry blinked at him. 

“Sir?” 

“I suspect many things could have been avoided this year, had I given you even a moment of my time,” Dumbledore told him remorsefully. “Perhaps if I had explained what I knew to you, things might have turned out differently this year, and for that, I am sorry.” 

Harry continued staring at him, unsure what he should say. He wanted the old man tell him exactly what he had done wrong, why he deserved the treatment he had received all year. However, now that he was sat here facing Dumbledore, could see how tired the man looked, and yet the Headmaster was still making the time to sit and talk with Harry, when Voldemort was still on the run. 

“Whatever happened this year, sir, I don’t think it was really your fault,” Harry said. “You’ve been busy, and I’ve been told multiple times this year that I’m impatient…” 

Dumbledore smiled. “Yes, but rightfully so. You were cut off from all information, without any explanation. So I hope you will give me the time now to explain my reasoning.”

Harry nodded, perhaps a little to eagerly, at the prospect of finally getting the answers he wanted. “Can I ask something first, sir?” Harry requested. 

“Of course, my boy,” Dumbledore smiled. 

“Um, about Sirius…” Harry trailed off, wondering if the Headmaster would even know what was happening with that. 

Dumbledore’s smile widened slightly. “Yes, of course, I had expected that he would owl you and tell you the news himself, however I believe he must still be at Saint Mungo’s.”

“Yes sir, I saw that in the paper this morning,” Harry said, feeling his heart pounding in his chest from anticipation about what Dumbledore might say. “But, I was wondering,since he’s a free man now, would I really have to go back to the Dursley’s this summer?” Harry questioned, mentally bracing himself for an answer he might not like. 

“I understand that you have been quite unhappy with your relatives,” Dumbledore said sympathetically. “I do hope you understand why I was so insistent you return to them each summer.”

“Yes sir,” Harry assured him. “I know it was because of the blood charm.” 

Dumbledore nodded. “Knowing that the charm would continue keeping you safe for the next couple years, I would like to insist once again that you return to your aunt and uncle’s house.” Dumbledore said. 

Harry nodded slowly, trying not to show his disappointment. 

“However,”Dumbledore continued, “as Sirius is your Godfather, and your rightful guardian, it is not up to me where you spend the summer, Harry. And I believe that Sirius will be able to provide you with protection you would not have had at the Dursley’s.”

“Really?” Harry asked in disbelief. 

“While I have at times kept things from you, my boy, I have never intentionally lied to you.” Dumbledore smiled. 

Harry’s cheeks turned slightly red. “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t meant to imply that…”

Dumbledore chuckled, holding up a hand. “It is quite alright. However, now that that topic has been covered, there are still a few more things I wish to discuss with you.”

“What other things?” Harry questioned. 

“Professor Umbridge.”

\-------------x

Harry wasn’t sure what he should be feeling as he left the Headmaster's office. It was a confusing mix of happy, hurt, anger and guilt. 

Dumbledore had made sure to explain at great length how things could have turned out differently. That thought alone had been enough to nearly kill the buzz of happiness that had sprung up inside of Harry upon hearing that Sirius was a free man. The guilt had only mounted from there when Harry soon realised that Blaise had been right the night before. But while he now believed he did owe the Slytherin an apology, Blaise had made it very clear he would want more than a simple ‘I’m sorry’. 

Harry let out a long sigh. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he decided to take the long way back to Gryffindor tower, hoping it would give him the time he needed to sort though his own thoughts. 

Dumbledore had given Harry the answers he had been looking for, and more information than he had anticipated. But Harry felt dirty, like he had somehow been tainted for nearly falling into Voldemort’s trap. That the man had so easily fed into Harry’s greatest fear, caused his stomach to turn unpleasantly. 

And everything had been for some stupid prophecy, one that he hadn’t gotten his hands on; though Dumbledore had counted as a good thing. Harry of course felt differently. After hearing the prophecy, he felt a lot of things could have been avoided if they had just given the blasted thing to Voldemort. However, at this point, it probably wouldn’t be enough; Voldemort was determined to kill him regardless of what the prophecy said. 

Harry turned a corner. He didn’t want to spend his evening walking in circles around the castle, worrying about when Voldemort would try and kill him next. He also wanted to find Ron and Hermione, and at least give them an explanation as to why they hadn’t seen him all day. 

Nearing the end of the corridor, and about to take the next turn through a secret passage that would lead him up to Gryffindor tower, Harry paused when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. A moment later Blaise Zabini came into view and Harry stared at him. 

Blaise didn’t even slow down, and only spared a glance in Harry’s direction as he passed him. Being so obviously ignored was enough to show Harry that his boyfriend was still very upset with him. Deciding he didn’t want to let things continue like this, not with the summer holidays starting soon, he hurried after the other teen. 

“Blaise!” Harry called out. He half expected for Blaise to continue ignoring him, however was pleasantly surprised when the tan boy turned to look at him. 

“Potter,” Blaise said as Harry came to a stop in front of him. 

Harry tried not to flinch at the use of his surname, and instead rushed on with his apology. “I’m sorry, about last night. I should have listened to you, and Hermione, I should have at least thought about the possibility that it could have been a trap… and I’m sorry,” Harry said, searching Blaise’s features for any sign that the other teen might forgive him. 

Blaise let out a long sigh, running a hand through his own hair as he closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m angry at you for more than just you not listening to me,” Blaise pointed out. 

“I can’t apologise for wanting to help my Godfather,” Harry said. “I can admit that you were right though, and I can promise to try and listen to you better in the future.”

“Do you even understand why I’m upset with you? I don’t want you to do everything I say. Listening to what I have to say is a big step in the right direction, but it’s more than that, Harry,” Blaise said. 

“I don’t understand, I don’t know what it was that I did, that you think is so wrong,” Harry admitted. 

“It’s the lack of respect you have for yourself,” Blaise said. “The fact that you will willingly go rushing off to where the danger is, because you think one person is in trouble.” 

“So you’re saying I should just stand by while other people are getting hurt? I should be like everyone else and turn away, pretend something horrible isn’t happening?” Harry snapped. 

“That is not what I’m saying!” Blaise said in frustration. 

“Then what ARE you saying?” Harry crossed his arms over his chest. 

“You know what, forget it, even if I explained it to you, you obviously wouldn’t understand,” Blaise said. “Good evening, Potter,” he said, turning on his heel and beginning to walk away. However, Harry couldn’t leave it at that, not tonight. 

“I’m not some ignorant child! You say I won’t understand, so then explain it to me! Make me understand!” Harry insisted. 

Blaise stopped once more and turned to face Harry. “No, you’re not a ignorant child, you’re a rash idiotic Gryffindor.” 

There were so many things that Harry wanted to say in reply to that, but he just stood there and watched as Blaise turned again and walked away. Because Harry knew that there wasn’t anything else that could be said, and if the two of them continued arguing like this, he was afraid that nothing would ever be the same between them again. 

\--------------x

Harry wasn’t the least bit surprised when he entered the Gryffindor common room to find a party in full swing. Standing by the entrance, Harry frowned as he tried to see if he could find a fast path through the crowd; he was in no mood to party at the moment, his brief encounter with Blaise having put him in a foul mood. 

“Harry! There you are!” Seamus had spotted him, and before Harry could voice a protest of any kind, he was grabbed by the arm and pulled into the crowd of people. 

“What’s the party for?” Harry questioned, frowning when someone passed him a cup of something. 

“Celebrating the demise of Umbridge!” Dean told him. 

“Demise?” Harry frowned. 

“Yeah, according to someone in Ravenclaw, they saw Dumbledore go into the forest today, he came back with Umbridge and she was a mess! They must have taken her to Saint Mungo's,” Seamus said. 

“Good riddance, if you ask me,” someone nearby said, earning a round of applause from the room. 

Harry shook his head, sipping at his own drink and making a face at the taste. “What is this?”

“Firewhiskey, just for us older kids,” Seamus said. 

“I think I’ll pass, I just want to go upstairs and go to bed right now…” Harry said, offering the cup to Seamus, and hoping to make a quick getaway. 

“No way!” Seamus protested, pushing the cup back toward him and throwing an arm over Harry’s shoulder. “You’ve gotta learn to have some fun! Come on, I’ll introduce you to some of the older kids.”

“I KNOW the older kids, Seamus,” Harry said as he was pulled through the cluster of people. Harry looked around, attempting to locate Ron or Hermione, hoping that one of them would be able to save him. 

“You can’t possibly know everyone,” Seamus rolled his eyes. 

“I know enough of them. Come on Seamus, I just want to go upstairs, maybe find Ron and Hermione…” Harry said. 

Seamus snorted. “I see how it is, fine, go on,” he said, letting Harry go. “Think you’re too good for us, admit it. You’ve always thought you were better than us, that’s why you made the DA; it wasn’t to help us, it was to show off.”

Harry frowned at Seamus, confused about where all this was coming from. “Are you okay, Seamus?” 

“Oh, I’m just fucking perfect, though maybe that’s the reason you want to bail on us, I’m not pathetic enough for you? Won’t follow you around like some-” Seamus was cut off when Dean came up behind him and put a hand over his mouth.

“Sorry, Harry, I think Seamus has had a little too much to drink,” Dean said. 

“...okay…” Harry said slowly then looked at Seamus again, wondering if it really had been the alcohol talking, or if Seamus really felt that way. Deciding he didn’t want to know, Harry excused himself, in an attempt to make it up to the dorm rooms again. 

“Harry!” Ron’s voice called out over the group of people and Harry turned to locate his friend. The redhead squeezed passed two girls and hurried over to Harry. 

“Hey, Ron,” Harry greeted. 

“Where have you been all day? Hermione and I looked for you everywhere, mate.” Ron said. “Did you ever find Zabini? I saw him earlier today, mentioned that you were looking for him, he didn’t seem to happy.”

“We had an argument,” Harry admitted.

“Well…”

“Don’t you dare say I told you so, I’m not in the mood to hear it tonight, Ron.” Harry gave Ron a pointed glare.

“I wasn’t,” Ron defended himself quickly. “I was just gonna say that he IS a Slytherin, and while he is different than the lot of them, Gryffindors and Slytherins don’t get along.” 

“Maybe you’re right,” Harry said, sipping at the drink he was still holding. “But I… I really like him, Ron. I just wish I knew what I did to make him so upset.”

“I dunno mate, what I do know, is you need this party, probably more than the rest of us! So at least stick around for a little while before you vanish upstairs?” Ron suggested. 

Harry sighed. “I’m not really in the mood for a party.”

“All the more reason you SHOULD be down here partying,” Ron pointed out. “Now, I need to go pull Hermione away from the beverage table before she vanishes all the good stuff,” Ron said and took off again. 

Harry wasn’t sure if it was what Ron said, or the warming in his belly from the Firewhiskey that made him stay, but either way he had to agree with Ron, he did deserve this party. Finding a mostly secluded corner, Harry sat down and watched the other people. 

He watched as Hermione tried to fight the losing battle, trying to get rid of the alcohol that had been smuggled into the party. Or at the very least keep it away from the younger students who were trying to sneak a sip. 

He spotted Ron on the opposite side of the room, laughing loudly at a very drunk Seamus, who apparently was finding Dean to be very attractive as he attempted to kiss his best friend. 

Harry’s attention was taken away from the amusing scene when someone sat down next to him, holding out a full cup for him to take. 

“Uh… hi,” Harry said, looking at the other teen he was sure he had never spoken to before. 

“Hi, you looked a bit bored in this corner,” he said. 

“Sorry but, who are you?” Harry questioned. 

“Name’s Cormac McLaggen,” the teen introduced, grinning widely. 

“Okay, am I supposed to know you?” Harry asked. 

Cormac laughed and shook his head. “No, probably not, I don’t usually talk to other kids outside my own year.”

“And what makes me the exception?” Harry still wasn’t sure why this boy had decided this was the best place in the whole room to sit, as there were plenty other empty spaces available. 

“Like I said, you looked bored,” Cormac said, holding the cup out to Harry again. “Did you want a refill to your drink? Or am I just going to awkwardly hold this for the rest of the evening?” 

“Thanks, but I’m not drinking any more alcohol,” Harry said. 

“Good thing I just brought you over some punch then,” Cormac grinned, handing the cup over to Harry who took it, looking at the colored liquid inside. 

“Oh, uh… okay, thank you then,” Harry said and sipped at the sweet tasting drink. 

“So what do you think of the party?” Cormac questioned, seeming determined to keep some kind of conversation going between the two of them. 

“If you’ve been to one Gryffindor party, you’ve been to them all,” Harry said. “Though this one seems to have something missing, now that Fred and George aren’t here anymore.”

“Yeah, that is true,” Cormac agreed with a laugh. “Those two were a crazy pair.” 

“They were brilliant,” Harry said. “I have no doubt that their joke shop will be a huge success.”

“A joke shop? That does seem about right for them. Some people are just born to do certain things. Like myself, I’m going to be a professional quidditch player,” Cormac said. 

With the topic now on quidditch, conversation seemed to flow a lot easier between the two of them, and Harry found that he was truly enjoying himself, despite the fact that he originally hadn’t wanted to stay for the party. 

Cormac left him in the corner a few times to go refill drinks, and Harry was starting to feel tired. There was even once he found himself with his head resting on Cormac’s shoulder, though he had no memory of leaning against the other teen. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, jerking upright into a sitting position again. 

“No need to be sorry, Harry.” Cormac leaned closer, brushing a few strands of hair away from Harry’s face, leaning in closer as he did. Harry saw what was coming a moment before Cormac’s lips touched his. In his shock, Harry sat there for longer than he should have before pulling away, pushing his hands against Cormac’s chest. 

“Sorry, I uh… I can’t,” Harry said, his face red from embarrassment. 

“Why not? Am I not your type?” Cormac frowned, looking hurt and confused. 

“No, I mean… maybe, I don’t know you, so I can’t honestly say if you’re my type or not. But I have a boyfriend,” Harry said. 

“That Slytherin kid?” Cormac frowned. “He’s not good enough for you, Harry, and rumor has it you two have broken up.”

“No, we haven’t,” Harry said firmly, and was happy when Cormac backed away. 

“Sorry, my mistake. I thought you had been flirting with me, maybe the alcohol has been messing with my head and I was reading you wrong, it won’t happen again,” Cormac said sounding truly sincere. 

Harry let out a long sigh and relaxed, closing his eyes to try and hold off the fuzzy feeling that had started settling into his brain. Harry blinked slowly shaking his head to try and clear away the strange feeling that seemed to be spreading. 

“Are you okay?” Cormac asked in concern and Harry nodded, though stopped immediately as that sent another unpleasant feeling through his whole head and down his spine. 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“You’re really not looking to good, maybe let’s get you up to bed,” Cormac said. 

“Yeah, good idea.” Harry said, allowing Cormac to pull him to his feet and lead him around the edge of the room. They seemed to go unnoticed by most of the other students and made it to the stairs without being stopped. 

“I can make it from here, thanks,” Harry said, sliding his arm away from Cormac’s and attempted to make it up the stairs on his own. 

“Let me help you a bit more, last thing we need is for you to fall and break your skull open,” Cormac said, taking Harry’s arm again and leading him up to the fifth year dorm. 

Harry pointed out which bed was his and Cormac helped him over, and even offered to get Harry’s pyjamas for him. 

“No, really, you’ve done enough, thank you. I’m just going to sleep this off I think,” Harry said, and it wasn’t until he tried to scoot himself back further onto his own bed that he realised something was seriously wrong. His arms felt like they had led weights on them, making them very difficult to move, even turning his head to look back at Cormac was more effort than it should have been. 

“Don’t worry, Harry, I’m going to take care of you,” Cormac said, pulling at Harry’s shirt and peeling it off the helpless teen. 

Harry felt the cold air hit his skin and he shivered, his breath picking up pace as he felt Cormac’s hands roaming over his chest, down toward his trousers. 

“Stop.” Harry said, weakly pushing at Cormac, however he had no strength left in his arms, and the only thing he managed to do was tumble into Cormac’s arms. 

The older teen chuckled, gently lifting Harry up and laying him down on the bed. Harry lay there helpless as the remainder of his clothes were removed. The fuzzy feeling in his head had taken over his whole body, and he was unable to move, unable to fight back, or demand that Cormac stop. And even if he could scream for help, the party still in full swing downstairs would be enough to drown him out. 

TBC

And here is yet another fanfic that I will need to keep up with. But, to be fair, this one, and another new one that I plan on finishing and posting soon, will give me something fun to work on while I try and figure out what I’m doing with all my other stories.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay! So here is an update for something AT LAST!   
Thank you to my wonderful wonderful wife Bicky Monster WHO! I will be able to see again! Because.  
I GOT MY VISA!!!!  
On that exciting note! Enjoy the chapter! :D

 

Chapter 2

For the first time in his life, Harry was truly excited to be going home for the summer. A ball of nervous excitement had built up in his stomach through the whole train ride, and he hadn’t been able to stop fidgeting, much to Ron and Hermione’s amusement. But they wouldn’t understand, even if Harry had wanted to explain it to them. Their families had always been happy to see them, while the Dursley’s had made it their personal life goal to make sure Harry knew he had never been welcome in their house. 

Harry was the first out of his seat when he felt the train starting to slow down. Eagerly grabbing his trunk, he started tugging on it to pull it down. 

Ron laughed and shook his head before standing up to help. 

“Seriously, mate, maybe this summer you can work at getting taller,” he teased, pulling the trunk down for Harry with one good tug. 

“Right, I’ll get right on that, Ron.” Harry rolled his eyes, watching as Ron tugged down his own trunk, as well as Hermione’s. 

Harry felt like an impatient kid waiting for the train to come to a full stop. He stood by the door to the compartment, looking out the window until he saw the platform come into view. And then he was gone, leaving Ron and Hermione to catch up to him as he went to the door of the train, waiting there for the train to stop and the door to slide open on its own. 

Harry was unsurprised to find that he was the first one off the train, but he didn’t care, scanning the crowd of people. He absently noted that there were more people on the platform than there probably should be, and when he saw the blinding flash of a camera, he knew immediately who all the extra people were. 

“Harry!” 

Whipping his head around, Harry grinned widely when he saw Sirius standing with Molly and Arthur. 

Harry’s replying call of “Sirius!” had people on the platform staring at him as he rushed forward to embrace his godfather. Harry didn’t care that there were more flashes of cameras because his godfather was a free man, and Harry would never have to set foot in the Dursley’s house ever again. In that moment, Harry felt lighter than he ever had in his entire life. 

Pulling back from the hug, Harry looked up at Sirius. The man had cleaned up, no longer the scruffy shadow of himself he had been last year. 

“You look good,” Harry said, and Sirius laughed. 

“Yes well, being a free man has certainly helped motivate me to keep up with my appearance,” Sirius said. “Though having Remus living with me has also helped, I suppose.” 

Harry laughed, hugging his godfather again, grinning widely when Sirius ruffled his hair. 

“Come on, pup, let’s get you outta here,” Sirius said, pulling out his wand and waving it at Harry’s trunk, shrinking it, before floating it into his pocket. 

“You take care of him now,” Molly said, looking sternly at Sirius. 

“I know what I’m doing,” Sirius said, giving Molly a defiant glare. 

Harry sighed softly and shook his head. Even while talking civilly, it was clear the two adults still had their disagreements when it came to him. So Harry turned his attention elsewhere, and that’s when he noticed Blaise. The tan teen was standing not too far away, watching him. 

Smiling, Harry waved at him, and took a step toward his boyfriend, intending to go talk to him. However Blaise turned away from him and started walking. It was the same treatment he had been giving Harry since the night of the Gryffindor party. Though Harry didn’t remember much of anything from that night at all and was only vaguely aware that he and Blaise had had another argument before the party. 

However, he didn’t want to go home for the summer with Blaise not talking to him. 

“Sirius, I’ll be right back, there’s something I forgot to do,” Harry said, and he darted off after Blaise before getting a reply from his godfather. “Blaise! Wait up!” Harry called after his boyfriend. 

Blaise stopped and turned to face Harry. “What do you want?” he demanded. 

“Blaise, I know you’re still angry with me, and I really can’t understand why,” Harry explained. 

“Yes, I know, you’ve said as much before,” Blaise said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking impatiently at Harry. 

“I want to try,” Harry said, holding on to the determined feeling he had had a moment ago. He didn’t want to go home for the summer still arguing with Blaise, because part of him was sure that if that happened, nothing would ever be the same between them. 

“You want to try and understand?” Blaise questioned and Harry nodded. 

“But I need your help. I don’t want to keep fighting like this, Blaise, but need you to tell me what it is I’ve done wrong,” Harry insisted. 

Blaise let out a sigh, running a hand through his own hair. “Okay, but this isn’t a conversation to have here.”

Harry nodded his agreement, well aware of the people who were watching them, and the flashes of cameras. Though Harry had noticed that since stepping off the train, not a single reporter had approached him, and he had to wonder if Sirius had had something to do with that. 

“I’ll write to you when I get home,” Harry said. 

Blaise nodded, and turned to walk away again, but stopped when Harry reached out and grabbed him by the arm. 

“Wait.” 

Blaise looked down at Harry, raising an eyebrow as the smaller teen just stared at him as if looking for something. 

“I… um... “ Harry chewed on his lower lip, suddenly looking very insecure as he let go of Blaise’s arm. 

“I still like you, Harry,” Blaise said. “But sometimes that isn’t enough to keep a relationship going.” 

Harry nodded slowly, trying not to let the hurt he felt at Blaise’s words show in his expression. 

“I’ll send you an owl later tonight,” Harry said, glancing over his shoulder toward where Sirius was waiting for him. “I have to get going now.” 

It was Blaise this time that stopped Harry from walking away. 

“We’ll make this work, Harry,” Blaise said, pulling the smaller teen back toward him, quickly bending and giving him a kiss. It wasn’t anything more than a small peck on the lips but it was enough for Harry.

Harry smiled up at Blaise, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his chest with the simple knowledge that Blaise still liked him. 

“Leave your window open for Hedwig tonight,” Harry ordered before turning and hurrying back over to where Sirius was patiently waiting for him.

Standing in front of his godfather, Harry waited for some kind of verbal response from Sirius regarding the kiss he had just witnessed between Harry and Blaise. However, it was Ron who spoke first, as it seemed Sirius was having trouble forming his thoughts into words. 

“Looks like we still have to put up with that Slytherin after all. Drat. And I was hoping I wouldn’t have to see his ugly mug again,” Ron said, earning a smack in the arm from Hermione. 

“I’m glad you two are working things out, even if I don’t know what you were fighting about, to begin with,” Hermione said, and Harry smiled. 

“Thanks, Hermione,” Harry smiled, then looked back at Sirius when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Let’s go home,” Sirius said, seeming to decide that now wasn’t the best time to put in his own thoughts about Harry’s relationship with the Slytherin. 

Harry smiled and nodded eagerly. Saying goodbye to his friends, he allowed Sirius to lead him off the platform and toward a side alley.

“Are we going back to Grimmauld place?” Harry asked, and Sirius shook his head. 

“Nope, I figured that place is too gloomy for us. The Order can still use it for their headquarters but Remus and I have been cleaning up another one of the Black properties, one that thankfully, my parents didn’t spend to much time in. 

“That sounds brilliant,” Harry smiled up at him. 

Sirius grinned widely, wrapping his arm tighter around Harry and pulling him close before he apparated the two of them out of the alleyway. 

\-----------------x

Harry stumbled as they landed on a grassy area. The only thing stopping him from toppling over was the fact that Sirius still had a firm hold on him. 

“You alright there, kiddo?” Sirius asked, looking down at him in concern. “I probably should have asked you beforehand if you’d ever apparated before.” 

“Yeah… no, never have,” Harry said, clenching his eyes closed as he waited for his stomach to settle after the sudden unpleasant sensation of being squeezed through a small tube. 

“Sorry, come on, let's get you inside. Remus will fix you some tea or something I’m sure,” Sirius said, keeping his arm around Harry and helping him across the street and up the steps into the house. 

“I’m okay,” Harry insisted once they were inside and the door was closed behind them. 

“Still, I remember how unpleasant the first time can be,” Sirius said. Keeping his arm around Harry, he led the teen further into the house. 

“Sirius, I’m fine, really,” Harry said, shrugging out from under Sirius’ arm. 

“You two are back sooner than I expected,” Remus said as he came out of a door to the right. 

“Yeah, well I left early for a reason,” Sirius grinned. “I made sure that the reporters and camera people got all their questions out of the way before the train even arrived, meaning we were able to leave without being hounded by those vultures.”

“Yes, you’re so clever,” Remus rolled his eyes, then looked to Harry. “Hello, Harry.”

“Hi, Professor,” Harry said, frowning when Sirius sniggered. 

“Harry, I’ve told you before, there’s no need to call me that. I haven’t been your professor in nearly two years now.” Remus smiled. 

“Yeah but you were still the best one we’ve ever had,” Harry said. 

“Still,” Remus shook his head. “How about this, you stop calling me professor and I’ll help you with some more of your defence studies.” 

“Deal!” Harry grinned. 

“If I call you professor, could you give me some private lessons too?” Sirius asked with a lecherous grin. 

“No,” Remus replied flatly, turning his attention back toward a confused looking Harry. “Sirius has me cooking dinner tonight. It’s nothing special, but I hope you like lasagna.” 

“Never had it,” Harry admitted. 

“Never?” Sirius asked and Harry shook his head. “Remus, go start cooking, now! A serious crime has been committed here. Our dear boy has never had one of the best pasta dishes in existence!” 

“I’ll start cooking, if YOU have gone to the store and gotten us milk,” Remus said. 

“Oh… knew I forgot something,” Sirius said. “Well, I’ll just uh... go get that now then, shall I?” 

“Yes and while you’re there you can get eggs and bread too,” Remus ordered. 

Harry stood there watching the exchange between the two friends. He was very confused by the way they were acting, though equally amused. He had never seen his godfather act like this, but Harry liked to think this was how the man had been before Azkaban, and before he had spent the last two years on the run.

“Right, before I go, Harry’s here’s your trunk,” Sirius said, taking out Harry’s trunk and returning it to the normal size. “Remus can show you to your room, I’ll be back shortly.” He ruffled Harry’s hair before he was out the door again. 

“He seems… hyper,” Harry said, looking back toward Remus. 

“He’s been nearly intolerable these last few days, ever since he was declared a free man again. I haven’t been able to keep him in the house,” Remus said with a fond smile. 

“I don’t blame him, being locked up all the time really sucks,” Harry said bluntly, earning a curious look from Remus. “So,” Harry went on, quickly changing the subject, “can I get a tour of the house? It looks bigger than Grimmauld place.”

Remus nodded, thankfully letting Harry’s change of topic slide for now. “Of course.” He turned back toward the room he had come out of before, motioning for Harry to follow him. 

Harry grabbed his trunk to bring it with him, but Remus stopped him. 

“You can leave it there, we’ll take it upstairs after, or Sirius will when he gets back,” Remus said. 

Harry looked hesitant for a moment before letting go of his trunk. “Shouldn’t we move it out of the entryway at least?” Harry questioned. 

“It’s not going to stay there indefinitely, Harry, it will be fine there for a few minutes,” Remus assured him. 

Harry nodded and left the trunk there, following Remus down the hall and into the spacious kitchen. 

Harry paused inside the doorway and looked around. His first thought was that the room was definitely larger than the kitchen at Grimmauld place, though he wasn’t sure if that was actually true or if the room just appeared bigger because it wasn’t as gloomy. 

“We’re still fixing this up to our liking,” Remus said. “And we haven’t done a proper shop. Sirius was insisting on waiting until you were here before filling the cupboards, that way we'll be sure to get things you like.”

“I’m not very picky when it comes to food,” Harry said. “I like most of the food at Hogwarts, but I don’t have much preference, as long as its edible.” 

Remus nodded, giving Harry another curious look as he seemed to be studying the teen’s appearance. However he said nothing once again and continued on with the tour of the house. 

“Through here is the dining room,” Remus said, leading Harry through a second door, into a dining room that looked like it could seat the entire Weasley family three times over. 

“Does it have to be so… big?” Harry asked. 

Remus chuckled. “These pureblood families like having their space I suppose. Though I do admit it is a bit much for just the three of us, we’ll most likely have most of our meals in the kitchen. Perhaps at some point we’ll remodel this room into something more useful,” Remus suggested. “A game room or something like that.” 

Harry nodded. “I’m sure you’ll find something to do with it,” he said, watching Remus walk across the room toward another door.

“Is this place a maze?” Harry questioned, following after him. 

“Not really. It might seem like one but each of these rooms connect back up with the entrance hallway,” Remus explained.

“I still feel like this place is far too big,” Harry sighed. 

“Under normal circumstances, I would agree with you. However, Sirius and I decided that the extra space would be good for me during the full moon,” Remus explained. 

“Oh, I wasn’t complaining,” Harry said quickly, eyes going a little wide as he looked at Remus. “I really do like what I’ve seen of the house so far, and it does make sense to have the extra space for you. I’m just… it seems a bit big for a house,” Harry admitted. 

“Easy, Harry.” Remus chuckled. “I for one agree with you. Barring special circumstances, or an abnormally large family, this house is too big, though it is also one of the smallest Black family properties.”

“One of the smallest?” Harry asked disbelievingly. 

“Yes, the smallest one is located in Hogsmeade, but we ruled that one out as an option, due to the fact that it is so close to Hogwarts. We thought it would be best if I didn’t live so close to the school,” Remus explained. 

Harry nodded his understanding. While he wasn’t scared of Remus at all, and thought it would have been fun to live so close to the school, he knew the same couldn’t be said for everyone. 

“Come along, Harry, I’ll finish show you the downstairs, then I’ll show you where your room is so you can get settled in,” Remus said, heading towards another door.

Harry smiled, following along happily. 

\-------------x

Harry let out a long happy sigh as he fell back onto his bed staring up at the canopy. He couldn't stop grinning. He had seen every room in the house twice over, as Sirius had also decided to give him a second tour, seemingly afraid that Harry would lose his way. 

While the space in the house was larger than what Harry was used to for the summer holidays, he reminded Sirius that he had managed to find his way around Hogwarts just fine, and this house was definitely a lot smaller than the castle. 

Taking a deep breath Harry let it out slowly as he relaxed, closing his eyes and letting the events of the day fully sink in. 

He had only meant to take a moment, knowing Remus was downstairs cooking dinner, and he still had unpacking to do, however, exhaustion caught up with him and he was drifting to sleep before he could even think of getting up again. 

There was a shadow over him and Harry let out a small distressed noise as he tried to move away. The shadow reached out for him and a strong hand touched his shoulder, gripping him tightly. He wanted to scream but he couldn’t, his voice had been stolen from him, along with any control he had over his body. 

“H-ry.” 

The grip on his shoulder tightened and Harry let out another sound, wanting to pull away, wanting the shadow to let him go. 

“Ha-y, w- up! Harry!” someone shouted and Harry’s eyes snapped open. 

The figure standing over him was too close and Harry screamed, shoving at the large figure and jerking away, crawling further back onto the bed and away from the person standing there. His breathing was coming in short panicked gasps as his mind caught up with the fact that he was awake. 

“Harry?” Sirius asked in concern as Harry sat huddled on his bed. 

Harry blinked, recognising his godfather’s voice. 

“Sirius?” He frowned, tensing when he felt the bed shift. 

“Easy, you’re okay, Harry,” Sirius said, handing Harry his glasses, which had fallen off while he had been sleeping. 

Harry took them, shoving the wire-frames onto his face and looking at Sirius properly now. 

“I… Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Harry said, forcing himself to straighten out his limbs. “Is dinner ready?” he questioned. 

“It’s been ready for a while. Remus thought it would be best if you got some sleep though, you seemed pretty tired,” Sirius said. “Are you okay, Harry?” 

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Harry asked. 

“You were in here screaming. Do you, uh, want to talk about it?” Sirius asked. 

Harry blinked at him. He knew Sirius was trying to be helpful and supportive but he also seemed so far out of his comfort zone. 

“No, it’s okay, it was just a nightmare, I don’t even remember what happened in it,” Harry admitted. 

“It wasn’t about Voldemort, was it?” Sirius asked, his eyes flicking up toward Harry’s scar. 

Harry blinked in surprise once again, his hand automatically lifting to trace the lightning bolt scar on his forehead. “No, I don’t think it was… actually, I don’t think my scar has hurt since the whole thing at the Ministry…” he said, having just realised this. 

Sirius visibly relaxed and smiled. “Good, though if it does hurt I want you to tell either Remus or myself, okay?” he insisted. 

Harry nodded his agreement. “Okay.” He smiled and shifted to get off the bed. “So… is there any dinner left? I think I’m kinda hungry now.” 

Sirius laughed, standing up and putting an arm around Harry’s shoulder. 

“Of course, we made sure to save you some, and I’m all for the idea of a 2am dinner,” he grinned, leaving the room with Harry. 

Harry laughed, and the two of them made their way down to the kitchen where there was a plate of lasagna sitting on the table waiting for him. 

“Is this a regular thing for you? Eating at two in the morning?” Harry questioned, sitting down at the table and pulling the plate of food closer to him, as Sirius sat down across from him with his own plate. The food was still warm, as though it had just come out of the oven only a short time ago. 

“It’s more of a thing than Remus would like,” Sirius admitted. “But living on the run for the last few years, and then being in Azkaban, they don’t really have any set meal times there.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” Harry said, taking a small bite of his food and smiling. “This is really good.” 

“Remus is a wonderful cook,” Sirius said, “seriously some of the best food I’ve had in decades.”

Harry blinked at Sirius, frowning a little as his godfather laughed at his own dark joke, because honestly how good could the food be in Azkaban. 

“So, what do you plan to do today?” Sirius asked. 

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe go out and explore a bit?” he suggested. 

“Well, there’s plenty to explore in this city,” Sirius said. 

Harry nodded. “I didn’t see much when we arrived. Where are we, exactly?” he questioned. 

“Bath.” Sirius grinned when Harry stared at him. “It used to be a wizarding town. Roman wizards founded it for use as a thermal bath or something like that, then more history happened, and before long it became like London, muggles and wizards started occupying the same space,” he explained. 

“I didn’t know that. Does that happen a lot?” Harry asked. “Is there a place like Diagon Alley here?” 

“No, nothing like that. The actual city part is more… merged together than our living spaces,” Sirius explained. “Like this space right here, it’s the Royal Crescent, well, for us it’s more of a circle.” 

“A circle?” Harry asked, looking interested in this bit of information. 

“Yeah, where we’re sitting right now, muggles think there’s a road that goes through here. However, I also know for a fact there is a magic theatre about a fifteen-minute walk from here, and the place is owned by a wizard,” 

“... that’s not legal though, is it?” Harry asked, setting his fork down to listen to Sirius. 

“That’s the brilliant thing about it, he doesn’t do the magic, he hires muggles to do it.” Sirius laughed. 

“So, like card tricks and stuff?” Harry asked and Sirius nodded his head, still sniggering about it. Harry rolled his eyes at his godfather, though still looked mildly amused himself.

“Maybe I will check that out later then, when it’s not nearly three in the morning,” Harry said, standing and picking his plate up. “Um, where should I put this?” he asked, indicating his half-empty plate. 

“You sure you don’t want to eat more?” Sirius asked, looking worriedly at Harry. 

“No, I think I’d rather just go back to bed for a few more hours, I can have the rest of this tomorrow,” he said. 

Nodding Sirius held his hand out for the plate. 

“I’ll take care of it, you just head back up to bed.” 

Smiling his thanks, Harry handed the plate over, his feet shuffling on the floor as he walked around the table, heading through the door they had come through nearly an hour ago. While he was still a bit tired, there was still a school trunk to unpack as well, and he decided that he should at the very least unpack his pyjamas. 

\---------------x

Harry let out a long content sigh as he stretched himself out on the grass, staring up at the bit of sky he could see through the trees. It was slightly overcast, which suited him just fine considering how hot it was at the moment. 

He had already spent a couple hours walking around the city, exploring what was around his new home, and even with all the muggles wandering around, he could still feel the undertones of magic that had originally created this city. He loved it. 

It was hard to believe that only a few weeks ago, Harry had been dreading another summer with the Dursleys, another summer either locked in his room or locked out of the house in the sweltering heat. Harry didn’t even want to think about what would have happened if the Dursleys had decided to go on holiday, especially considering that his backup plan of staying somewhere with Blaise probably wouldn’t have worked, due to the fight they had had. 

Rolling over onto his side, Harry frowned as his thoughts wandered back to that night in Snape's office. Then their later meeting on the platform the evening before, which had given Harry hope that they could possibly work out their differences. 

Pushing himself up into a sitting position once again, Harry glanced around. He wished now that he had brought some parchment with him to start writing the letter he had promised to send to Blaise, hopefully to set up a time and place for a meeting. 

It occurred to him, he should probably mention it to Sirius and Remus if they were going to have a sudden guest they had never met before. 

Harry bit his lip as his thoughts latched onto that concept next. 

The Dursleys had never cared about Harry’s personal life and would have preferred if it was kept far away from them. However, Harry was sure that Sirius and Remus did not feel the same way, as Sirius had already made it quite clear that he wanted to be involved with as much of Harry’s life as he possibly could, and that meant meeting potential boyfriends. 

A sudden and strange feeling of dread filled the pit of Harry’s stomach when he realised that Sirius, as Harry’s guardian, had every right to tell Harry he wasn’t allowed to date, and could even set up an arranged marriage if he so chose. Though that last one was unlikely, as Harry knew for a fact that his godfather sneered at all those pureblood traditions, the simple thought of it had Harry’s stomach turning. 

Harry cared about what Sirius thought and the last thing he wanted was to disappoint his godfather. 

Glancing around himself, Harry let out another long sigh. He knew that as much as he was dreading this now, he needed to get it done sooner rather than later if he wanted the chance to invite Blaise over, so they could sit and talk and potentially work out what Harry was doing wrong in their relationship. 

Pushing himself to his feet, Harry brushed off his too baggy jeans before he started making his way home. He ran his hand along the stone wall as he walked down the walkway, not taking the time to take in the scenery this time, more determined to get home than see more of what was around him at the moment. 

Seeing the townhouse up ahead and Remus outside on the front steps sweeping them off, Harry sped up, running the last few meters across the grass. 

“Harry?” Remus said as he looked up, setting the broom aside when he saw the teen running toward him, his eyes immediately scanning the area behind the boy to see if he was being chased. “What’s wrong?” he asked once Harry had reached the steps. 

“Huh? Oh… nothing, just… um, I was just thinking about something and... could I talk to you? And Sirius?” Harry requested. 

“Sirius went to the ministry, Harry, he won’t be back until this evening.” Remus frowned when Harry’s face fell. “You could still talk to me though. Unless it was a discussion that Sirius needed to be involved in?” 

Harry frowned, lowering his head slightly as he thought about it before nodding. “I think I should talk to Sirius about it too but um… maybe you could give me a better idea of how he might react…” Harry suggested. 

Remus nodded, motioning for Harry to follow him inside. 

Harry did so, walking up the steps and into the house. He closed the door behind him as he removed his shoes, setting them off to the side before following his former teacher down the hall into the kitchen. 

“Have a seat, I’ll make us some tea,” Remus said.

Harry did so, watching Remus move around the kitchen, getting two mugs, setting them on the counter, before putting the kettle on. 

“So what is it that has you so worried?” Remus questioned, turning to look at Harry. 

The black-haired teen sighed again, hands clenched in his lap as he tried to think of the best way to bring up the subject without just blurting it out. However, there really wasn’t any good way to do that, without diving right in. 

“I have a boyfriend,” Harry said bluntly. 

Remus was silent, and Harry looked up at him, seeing the werewolf staring at him in turn. 

“Oh,” was all Remus said, before smiling at Harry. 

“That’s it? Just ‘oh’?” Harry asked. 

“Am I supposed to say something else?” Remus questioned, and Harry shrugged his shoulder. 

“I don’t know, not like I’ve had to really tell anyone that before,” Harry huffed and Remus smiled at him. “I was... I dunno, expecting more of a reaction?” 

Remus chuckled, turning around to grab the kettle and finish making the tea. Once he was done, he brought the mugs over to the table and set one down in front of Harry, before taking a seat in the chair next to him. 

“Harry, I can’t speak for Sirius, but I know that you are capable of making your own life choices. You are far more grown-up than people give you credit for. I’ve known that since you were a thirteen-year-old boy sitting in my office demanding that I teach you the Patronus Charm,” Remus said. 

Harry looked at him. He couldn’t help but feel like there should still be more to this talk than what Remus was giving him. Though Harry was grateful for it, and it did ease his worry a fraction, part of him was still hoping for more. 

Remus took a sip of his tea, and Harry copied the movement, mostly for something to do so they weren’t just sitting there in silence. Setting the cup back down, Harry bit at his lower lip, tapping his finger against his mug, watching the liquid in his cup ripple with the movement.

“Is there something else on your mind?” Remus asked. 

Harry glanced up at him before looking back down at his tea. 

“I’m dating a Slytherin,” Harry offered. “His name is Blaise Zabini… and I don’t actually know if we’re still dating or not,” he said. 

Remus let out a small sigh. “You two are fighting then,” he said. 

Harry nodded his head in confirmation. 

“And you’re looking for advice on what to do next?” Remus pressed. 

Harry shrugged his shoulder again. “Yes? No… I don’t know, I’m supposed to write him and see about setting up a date and time when we can meet up and work things out,” Harry said. 

“That seems like the most reasonable thing to do,” Remus agreed. 

Harry looked up at him, observing how uncomfortable Remus looked at the moment. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have just dumped this on you,” Harry said, standing quickly and picking up his teacup. “Thanks for the tea,” he said, “I have more unpacking to do, think I’ll go do that before Sirius gets home,” he said and was gone from the kitchen before Remus could stop him. 

Harry stopped halfway up the stairs, waiting to see if Remus was following him. He was really conflicted when he didn’t hear anything from the kitchen. On the one hand he wanted Remus to come after him, however, at the same time, Harry knew that the conversation was a very awkward one and he was honestly grateful to not have to continue it himself. 

Continuing up the stairs at a slower pace, Harry went to his room. Closing the door behind him, he went over to his desk, setting the mug down, before turning toward his trunk to finish unpacking it. That’s when he noticed the lid was open and the trunk was empty. 

Looking around the room, it was then that Harry spotted his things had been put away for him. His Firebolt was in the corner of the room, closest to the door, his wand was sitting on his bedside table, and his pyjamas had even been folded and were sitting on his pillow for him to use later that night. On his duvet was a piece of parchment with a note scribbled on it. 

Curious, Harry moved to the side of his bed, picking up the parchment and reading the note. 

I took the liberty of unpacking your trunk for you. I put your clothes in the wardrobe, your school supplies are inside your desk. It’s so good to have you home with us.

Remus

Harry frowned at that. It was a sweet gesture and he knew Remus had meant well, however, Harry had wanted to take the time himself to put things away, mostly just so he knew where everything was without having to hunt for it in his own room, but partly because he was used to his own privacy, due to the fact that the Dursleys had never wanted to touch anything of his to begin with. 

He eventually settled on being touched by the gesture, not wanting to make a big deal about it this time. 

Folding the parchment up, he looked around before finding his photo album, tucking it into the back pages. He moved back over to his desk, still smiling as he sat down. He sipped at his tea and got out a quill and parchment for himself. 

He wouldn’t send the letter to Blaise until after he’d talked to Sirius but there was no reason he couldn’t get it written now. 

\--------------x

The shadow figure was leaning over him, pinning him down. Harry was screaming, at least he thought he was, but there was no sound. He was alone with this monster. 

“I’ll take care of you,” the voice whispered harshly in his ear. 

Sharp pain shot up his spine then. 

Harry jerked up with a scream, his arm flying out to protect himself from the assailant, the shatter of glass on the floor jerked him fully awake and Harry sat there in his chair, at his desk, gasping for breath as he looked around for the person who he swore had just been there. 

There was no one, just him, and Hedwig was sitting on his window sill waiting to be let out for the evening. 

Taking a shaky breath, Harry pushed the chair out, looking down at the floor where the broken mug now was shattered around him. Shaking his head at himself, he carefully stood up, being mindful of the glass as he went to the window, pushing it open enough for Hedwig to get out. 

She hooted at him and Harry stroked her feathers, smiling as she rubbed her head against his head, nipping at his fingers affectionately before flying off. 

Harry stood there for a few moments, letting himself calm down a bit more, his breathing and heartrate returning to normal before turning his attention towards the cup that was still in pieces on the floor. 

Manoeuvering around them again, Harry knelt down and was in the process of picking up the bigger pieces when there was a knock on his door. 

Harry looked over at it for a moment, smiling a little at the fact that whoever was on the other side, Remus or Sirius, had thought to knock, something that the Dursleys had never thought to do for him. 

“Its open,” he called out, returning to his task of picking up the broken glass, standing back up when the door to his room was pushed open just enough for Sirius to poke his head inside. 

“Ah, you’re awake,” he grinned, stepping into the room fully. 

“Of course I am, did you think I was talking in my sleep when I said the door was open?” Harry questioned with a grin. 

Sirius grinned back at him, though it faded slightly when he saw the broken cup in Harry’s hands. 

“What happened?” 

“Oh, I had an accident, I must have dozed off at my desk. Hedwig woke me because she wanted to go out and hunt,” Harry said. “ Sorry about the cup.” 

“Nonsense, easy fix,” Sirius said, pulling his wand out of his belt, waving it at the broken glass. 

Harry watched as the pieces flew back together before the cup landed neatly on the desk again. 

“Magic is so amazing,” Harry said, turning back around to look up at Sirius. 

“Couldn’t agree more!” Sirius said, tucking his wand away before going over to sit on Harry’s now vacant desk chair, motioning for Harry to sit on his bed. “So, Remus accosted me as soon as I came through the floo.” 

“Accosted?” Harry snorted. “That’s a rather big word for you, isn’t it?” 

“Not when Remus has made a habit out of doing this many times over the years, accosted is an accurate word for what he does,” Sirius explained. 

Harry looked amused by this, though said nothing else and let Sirius continue. 

“Okay, so what is this I hear about you and your boyfriend having trouble?” he questioned. 

Harry blinked at him, a little taken aback by the sudden question. “Oh… Remus told you about that then?” 

“Of course he did!” Sirius looked affronted by Harry’s question. “He felt bad that he couldn’t give you any solid advice, and skipping dinner? He won’t say it but he’s a bit freaked that he might have actually upset you,” 

“I didn’t… I’m not upset,” Harry said quickly. “I could just tell that Remus didn’t want to talk about it so I came up here… I didn’t mean to sleep through dinner again.”

Sirius scooted the chair closer to the bed so he could reach out and grab Harry’s chin, forcing those green eyes to lock with his. 

“It’s fine, Harry,” he said, looking a little amused. “I swear, between you and Remus, my gorgeous head of hair is going to be grey before its time, or worse, I’ll start balding.” 

“I’m sure there’s magic that could fix that,” Harry said. 

“Out of all the wondrous things wizards have made, anti-balding potions aren’t one of them,” Sirius sighed dramatically, letting his hand fall away from Harry’s chin, running his fingers through his own shoulder-length hair. “Nope, once hair starts falling out, I might as well just shave my head and be done with it.” 

Harry laughed, and Sirius grinned at him. 

“You’re such a nutter,” Harry said

“Yes, I am!” Sirius said proudly. “That’s why you and Remus both love me.” 

“As much as I’d like to disagree, I’m afraid I can’t.” Harry smiled, his mood being lifted from the morose state it had been before. 

“Correct, because as you’ll learn very quickly, I am always right,” Sirius said. “And now as someone who is always right, you’re going to tell me about this boyfriend of yours and what you’re fighting about, and the love doctor will help.” Sirius paused, making a face and shook his head. “No, forget I said that and remind me to never refer to myself as the ‘love doctor’ again.” 

Harry laughed again, nodding his head in agreement. “Yeah, that name doesn’t suit you at all.” He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, another chuckle escaping him as he did. “But no, really it’s fine, Blaise and I are going to try and work things out,” Harry said. 

“Harry, the reason Remus didn’t want to talk about this with you, is because he’s never dated. I mean, okay, maybe he has when I was locked up, but they obviously didn’t end well, or go anywhere. The point I’m trying to make is that Remus knows next to nothing when it comes to romantic relationships,” Sirius explained. 

Harry sat there for a few seconds, letting this information sink in. “So, you think you can help me?” he asked. 

“Well, I’m not as good as your dad was, nowhere close, but I think I come in a close second when it comes to good advice,” Sirius bragged. 

Harry shifted himself on his bed, pulling his legs up so he was sitting cross-legged on the duvet, and started telling Sirius about what had happened, about how Blaise had ratted him out to Snape of all people and how he was confused about why Balise was even angry at him to start with. 

“I just don’t get it at all, I still don’t think I did anything wrong, wanting to go to the ministry to help you,” Harry said, looking at his godfather, needing some kind of justification for his actions. 

However, Harry felt his chest tighten when Sirius sighed, leaning back in his seat, and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling for a moment. 

“I can see both sides of this argument,” Sirius said. “I understand that you are unable to sit back and just let people get hurt. A true Gryffindor trait, to act before thinking,” he said, turning his attention back toward Harry. “And I’m not saying that’s really a bad thing, I mean, I’ve lived my life by acting before I think.” 

“Exactly!” Harry said. “I tried to explain it to Blaise, that I just can’t sit back, like other people do, when I know someone is in trouble or being hurt. I feel like I have to do something.”

“I felt the same way when I found your parents dead,” Sirius said. 

Harry stared at him, the irritated look melting away from his face as Sirius continued speaking. 

“I knew who had done it, who had given away their hiding place. There were still people I could have gone to for help, I could have gone to Remus, I could have even gone to Dumbledore and explained the situation to him, had help tracking down Peter. And I didn’t. I wanted to take action, and I did...” Sirius trailed off, there was nothing more to say because they both knew how that story ended, with Sirius spending twelve years in Azkaban, and Harry having been sent to the Dursleys. 

More than one life had been ruined because of Sirius’ rash actions, and Harry had never really stopped to think about what could have happened had Sirius not been sent to Azkaban. However, now, sitting on a bed that was larger and more comfortable than anything he had ever had in his life, in a room that was easily twenty times larger than the cupboard under the stairs he was aware of the startling contrast between where he had been and where he was. Knowing this is something he could have had all along, it hurt. 

“I think…I understand now,” Harry said, lowering his head, his hands clenched into fists in his lap. “Would it be alright, if I invited Blaise over here? I think there really is a lot that he and I need to talk about.” 

Sirius smiled, standing up and moving to the bed, sitting next to Harry. Wrapping his arm around Harry’s shoulder, he pulled him into a tight one-armed hug. Harry shifted himself further into the embrace, taking a deep shuddering breath. 

“You really care about him?” Sirius asked. 

“Yeah,” Harry said. “He’s kind of amazing, even more so for being able to put up with me for this long.” 

“I will want to meet him properly before we invite him into our house, but we can meet him for tea,” Sirius suggested. 

Harry sighed. “Can… can I just meet him this time? I kind of want to work things out with him, before he meets you. I mean, it would be kind of weird to have you meet him if he and I are just going to end up breaking up after all,” he said. 

Sirius tightened his arm around Harry for a moment, squeezing him. “Alright, that’s a fair request. But for the record, if he breaks things off with you, he’s an idiot and I’ll make sure to throw a few good hexes his way,” Sirius promised. 

Harry chuckled weakly. 

“Sounds good to me,” he agreed, pulling away from Sirius and rubbing at his eyes, removing any traces of tears that might have been there. 

“Good.” Sirius hopped off the bed, holding his hand out for Harry. “Now, let’s head downstairs and pester Remus about dinner.” 

Laughing Harry took Sirius’ hand, unfolding his legs before sliding off the bed and following his godfather from the room. For the first time in weeks, Harry finally felt that things were going to be alright. 

TBC

Okay! So, I can’t make any promises that I am officially back, with Christmas being so close, then new years, and trying to settle into my life in England. I CAN promise, that I hope to get fully back into all my writing come the new year. 

So thank you everyone for your support! Love you all!


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